Bad Dreams & Sad Things
by Lo21
Summary: THIS STORY IS ON HOLD/EDITING. Bella has an unhealthy view of men in her life: divorce,cheating,physical,and mental abuse. The images & events of her past make her wary of love and life in general. Angst.Sad Things. Love.


**Chapter 1: Prologue**

**This story is AH: All Human. **

**Bella & Edward**

**RATED M.**

**Rated M/ Mature for:** _language, some drug and alcohol mentions, dark situations, references to violence and lemons/limes__. The story is probably not appropriate if you are younger than 18. If you feel you are mature enough to handle those topics, that is up to you. Also, my characters like to curse, so if you are easily offended by such language, do not continue. __**You are now**__** warned.**_

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**Bad Dreams & Sad Things**

**Prologue**

**Bella**

In life there are memorable moments that stand out. The images are bright memories filled with sunlight, laughter, love, and happiness or dark thunderstorms filled with sadness, pain, heartbreak, death, and tears. They are memorable for a _reason._ The events mark the important steps in life's journey.

Nightmares will wake you up when it gets too scary, but not before planting new ideas and thoughts in your head that weren't there before.

The sources of my bad dreams are real life events. In my dreams though, not only do they represent what actually happened, they expand into new angles and twists, adding horrifying details that were never fully realized. Those are things that are locked up in the corner of my mind.

When I was younger, dreams were an escape from the screaming, crying, and physical pain. Now, dreamless sleep is welcomed and very much preferred. If I could, I would turn the pages of my life and skip over the lowlights to try to find my happy ending. Right now though, all I feel is hurt and devastation. It is a hollow void. There will always be a constant reminder that these nightmares actually occurred in real life.

xxxxx

_In my drunken sleeping state I wake up to what sounds like either my phone ringing or a bomb exploding ... I can't be certain. I jump up gasping and feel the sweat on my forehead and hair. Is this a dream? In the dark room I try to focus my eyes but I can barely make out the faint blue numbers on my nightstand. It isn't a dream. I am awake and the alarm clock tells me it is 3:14 a.m. All I want is for my body to feel rested and to give me some fucking peace and quiet from all the endless thinking. Liquor is my sleeping pill for tonight and my self-medication for a deep dreamless sleep that is now being interrupted. The ringer is a thousand decibels too loud and I silently curse myself for forgetting to lower the volume. A quick glance of the caller ID shows a number I don't know, so I ignore the call. _

_"Shut the fuck up," I mutter as my head hits the pillow. The empty space next to me in bed is cold. I miss him. He should be here lying here beside me. My head is throbbing and my body feels heavy. My movements are slow. I squeeze my eyes shut, but a buzz from my phone alerts me to a voice mail message. Before I decide if I want to hear it, the phone rings again, this time a name flashes—Alice. _

_"Alice, what the fuck do you want at this hour?" I bark into the phone.  
_

_A momentary pause then her shaky voice emerges. "Bella, there's been an accide—something bad has happened …"_

_My heavy eyelids are now wide open, my buzz is officially killed. My heart sounds like a jackhammer inside of my chest and the room seems to be spinning around me. There are two people I am concerned about right now, one of which was sleeping right beside me, arms around me just two weeks ago. My heart sinks, and I can't help think that someone is dead; I can sense it._

_The panicked words tumble out as tears form, waiting to be dispensed from my eyes. _

_"What happened, Alice? Who was it?"_

_"I don't want to tell you over the phone, so I'm on my way to your apartment. I'll be there in five minutes."_

_"You can't do that! Alice, please just tell me. You can't wake me up to tell me that and expect me to have to wait."_

_"I'm pulling into your complex now."_

_She hangs up the phone without a goodbye and I wait anxiously to hear the knock on the door. When I open it to see her standing there, her forehead is creased with worry. She grabs my hand and pulls me to sit on the sofa._

_Guilt consumes me as I hear what she says next. The tears that were threatening to spill, have now given way to a flood pouring from my eyes. There are no words that can describe how I feel now. I let out a loud scream as her arms go around me. I sensed this would happen. _

_And now it has._

_xxxxx_

If you'd loved someone for a good majority of your adult life, would you think you _really_ knew them? Would you trust the person who would ultimately betray you the most? Would you forget the happy times and pretend that they didn't matter to you at all?

The nightmares come from different corners of my mind, but they always come and they are not always in dream form. No matter how much I'd like to forget them, they are ever-present and carve imaginary open wounds into my flesh. No one else can see them, but I can _feel_ them. They were the darkest moments in my life; poisonous times that I wish I could erase from my mind. If only I could do something different; find a clue and solve the complicated puzzle. The story of my life isn't always about love, but it does center on people I love or have once loved. These are my defining moments. I've had my fair share of awful moments, but there are still some good ones too.

I long for a time when all the moments will be good, but first, the bad dreams have to stop.

xxxxxxxxxx

_You've read this a thousand times, but it must be said: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and character names. I use the characters for a new story in an all-human world._

_**Special thanks to **_Heavenli24 for her assistance on this chapter!

******I'm re-releasing this story after editing it myself. There will be no beta and I realize it is not perfect.

_Sara Bareilles' Album"Kaleidoscope Heart" is my inspiration to start this story and for the idea for the title to the story. She is a beautiful writer and an amazing singer._

_-~*Lo*~_

_follow me on twitter under Lo21__


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